yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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