Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Randomize
