It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I'm at about main and main street
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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