It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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