Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Randomize
