Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
