Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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