i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
