Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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