Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
