your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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