What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
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