so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
