so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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