I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
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