Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
i need some magic done to my vagina
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
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