Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
