I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Go christen that room with your naked body.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
