I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
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