why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
