meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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