you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
