Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
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