I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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