After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
