I accidentally burped into my bong.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
