i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
