Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
