I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
