I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
