Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
