Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Im part way to drunk.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
