now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
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