It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
