How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
he just fucked me for my cheese.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
