Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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