Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Randomize
