Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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