And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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