i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
