apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
