at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
