Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
