You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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