I bet he comes in French.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
