so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
