I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
