Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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