Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
