i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize